Hard of Hearing

How often we feeble minded humans overlook God's work in and around our lives. If you think about it God is constantly at work; He dosen't sleep, He's omnipersent, He's omnipotent, with the exception of the 7th day about 6,000 years ago He hasn't taken to many breaks. Maybe my inability to sit still is just an overflow of God in me? But back to my main focus God is constantly working, not in vague impersonal way spwaned from Blackaby theology, but that the soverign God of the Universe is personally and working in, around, and through every aspect of your life. With that in mind it should be quite easy to understand that God is constantly speaking to us in our lives, we just are a bit hard of hearing. This has been a rather good week in my life; God's presence has filled me in a magnificent way and is continuing to grow in power. In this move of the Holy Spirit my desire was just to hear God speak to me, to hear His tender voice guide my steps. In God's great sense of humor He revealed to me why I haven't it lately: it wasn't that God wasn't speaking it was that I was not paying enough attention to hear and obey. Right now I am in the remote wilds of Georgia: Blairsville. While making the long drive I stoped at a rest area and it was there that God gently slaped me in the back of the head. Walking back to my car I saw a tall thin black man and as quiet as wind blowing through a vacant meadow I heard God somewhere in the back of my mind say "go talk to him." As quickly as I heard it I let it flutter through and out of mind in an instant, I mean I had a long way yet to go I had a destination to reach, no time to talk. But God as only He can in His loving grace used that tall thin black man who I would later learned to be Donnie Buckham, as he caught my attention as I walked past, keys in hand, and we conversed. As soon as Donnie had called out "sir" in my direction God whacked me up side the head and said "alex, you've been praying to hear me speak directly for a good while, if you don't listen when I speak what does it matter?" Needless to say that caught my attention fully, I spoke with Donnie a fellow beliver, he needed a couple bucks to buy a starter, funny enough I had stoped at a walmart earlier before and bought a dr. pepper with my new debit card cause the machines outside the stores did not sell bottles, using a pin number I really wasn't sure was right and for no real reason than why not I got cash back. All those little things God did to prepare me to talk to Donnie and I almost blew it, thank God He is full of Grace. Lord teach me to pay attention to you and your voice and continue to use me in great ways Lord.

But by the Grace of God

isn't it funny when God softly speaks thoughts into your head? the last couple years of my life have felt like a slow lonely walk through the valley. At times it's been a desprate struggle to just get a glimplse of the joy experienced on the mountian top of faith. Mark Rutland once said about trying to do ourselves what only God can do: "this year i'll be holy if it kills me, the only problem is it'll kill you if you don't wind up in a religious looney bin first, wearing a strait jacket in the fetal postion rocking back and forth humming Jesus loves me." I was almost there; there is nothing more that I wanted in life than to be holy, to be in God's perfect will, to love him and give my all to him. but through fear, sin, and eventually a bit of lonely depression I wanted so bad to just go home. Praise God He dosen't give up on us when we want to so badly. One day in half hearted prayer God removed my depression in what felt like an instant, it was just gone. My passion though was missing. I once had a furnace of passion buring within me and I miss it and more than that I know why I lost it. Don't ever, no matter what, ever, ever, ever ( oh Lord i'm sounding like Joel Osteen) give satan a challenge, turns out he is good at what he does, go figure. During the valley time I never quit having quiet times, it was very routine for me and sometimes I had sparks of passion within them but they quickly burn out. One saturuday in utter turmoil I prayed and had a sudden urge to read my Bible, somthing that I hadn't had in a long time, so I open and began to read, and read, and read and as I read through some of Pauls letters joy returned to my spirit, the furnace which had gone cold was re lit and the Holy Spirit moved in me as I had craved for what felt like ages. I was back where I needed to be, but once again I proposed a challenge to satan; he couldn't touch me I was on high, but as soon as I let the ignorance slip from my mouth I realized oh dummy why did you do that your in trouble now. That night as I praised God I wrecked my car, hit a deer and pretty much totalled the car. My faith shrivled and God took care of the situation, He put me in a new car and blessed me emensely beyond my imagination, but the damage was done in my spirit my faith was worn and once again the furnace had but a pilot light of life. It's been a few weeks since then and It's been a constant nag to find the peace I just had, but walking back after a day of class to my dorm God put a thought into my mind. I was trying to understand how it was that I was even still alive in life, and as clear as ever I thought, "I am who I am but by the grace of God" the only reason is God, hello? God loves me, God is taking care of me, God provides for me, Jehova Jireh. Truly He had never left me but carried me through the struggles and pain in my life. I wrote that on my mirror. Tonight God gave me just a bit more insight into what He told me a couple days ago. The thought that God had put in my head, He had some 2000 years prior placed it in the mind of the apostle Paul for a letter he wrote to the church at Corinth. 1 Corinthians 15:10 "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." Lord, let everything remind me of your grace, this furnace is willing let me burn like never before with you Spirit. I am who I am but by the grace of God...

Leadership

Honestly, I am not exactly quite sure as of to how I arrived at this place in my life. Last semester I had two classes on Leadership from which I don't think I learned anything what so ever. Maybe i just didn't like those classes I made B's in both which is slightly uncommon (an 89 in one, which by far is the absolute worst grade one can recieve, I mean if your going to make a B put forth an effort worth an 80 not an 89) but really if I am not learning I get less than acomplishable grades, but thats neither here nor there for the matter at hand. I need my spirit is a deep dispise or poor leadership. Lord why can't those in leadership postions actually lead for your glory and not to appease the world around us? God has put within me this driving desire to lead, to be a leader. Am I just a typical Baptist; full of strong willed opinions? Maybe, maybe thats it; from the outside looking in maybe I just am blined from the harsh reality of the difficult task the administration at BCF faces. My spirit disagrees: God is not pleased, and the students, faculty, and surrounding community are suffering because of it. Why did BCF spend over a million dollars to remodel a builiding, on the outside mind you, that is used roughly 3 hours a week? "But, it's the chapel, we need a place to worship and have chapel." This said by the same people who could not wait to get out of the gym so they could worship God again. God is a spirit and those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and God does not dwell in buildings made with man's hands. The sad part is that it dosen't stop there. Student services exists to serve the students? Of course not, it does all of nothing. And it's a wonder why the school failed University status...

Joel Osteen

in all of 5 seconds i do believe my opinion of Joel Osteen changed dramatically. I had called my dad earlier today and later at dinner he returned my call and we talked for a bit and i talked to my sister about her birthday party, then out of the blue my dad asks me if i want to go see Joel Osteen in Tampa in December... "Joel Osteen," i thought, "he preaches about feeling good and stuff, robert schuller with a perm." but Joel Osteen...hmmm my dad even said he liked him and that he watches him on tv ( i wondered why they gave me his book for christmas) so what could i say but yeah i'd love to go. My step mom comes on the phone and tells me about it and stuff and says they were watching him the other day and she had once seen billy graham and would really like to go see Joel.... so it turns out i'm going to see joel with my dad, with MY DAD... My Dad isn't saved, a deist at best and we're going to spend "an evening with joel." well because my dad accepts and even respects joel i can't but accept him and pray that God speaks through him and touches my dad and stepmom... i guess i'll have to read his book now that they gave me... Joel's Gospel may be watery, but if it reaches my dad, if it brings him even half a step closer to a relationship with Jesus Christ, to God be the be the glory! and may God bless Joel's ministry.....

Revival

Revival.... the set four day week of the year where a fat little man comes to town yells from the pulpit and some people get saved.... Hallelujah.. or maybe better stated..amen... "what a revial we had last week, we had visitation teams going and bring people to church and some of them got saved and why we've even been spending hours in prayer for this week that God would work and change lives..what a good week brother...." "amen brother, amen..." am i saying this is a bad thing? well not, but its not a revival.... Oh, God do we need revival, oh, God do I need revival... I'm exahusted form utter stagnation in my life and i'm worn from pseudo spirit filled Christianity... Real revival is not screaming to sell fire insurance to lost people... not that reaching lost people isn't right, just the contrary it is of utmost importance, but revival is just that it's revival. It's a fresh wind and a fresh fire; its Acts chapter 2. It's not set aside a week and ask God to do somthing right then and there it's fall on your knees reptance casting off stagnation calling upon the God who died for us all to revive us, to fill us new and a fresh in grace and power. True revival happens not when we schedule it but when the Holy Spirit leaps into the open and wakes us up from our own ignorance and self works... i have but not to be ignorant anymore...God i submit to you all that i am...let revial, your true revival begin in me... Praise the Lord!