Some Like It Hot

Tragedy, oh tragedy; friends, I have terrible, awful, saddening, disheartening news. Our planet is in great peril, surely this world, after a good four and half billion year run is coming to an end. It seems the earth is getting too hot. Soon the polar ice caps will melt and Kevin Costner will evolve gills (I sure I hope I get some.) Soon Keifer Sutherland and Bill Paxton will team up to fight tornadoes rather than terrorism in Los Angeles. Soon a gay cowboy will probably get stuck in a library during a massive ice hurricane, having to fight off wolves (at least not werewolves) oh, and he’ll probably discover that a giant asteroid is heading towards earth, not like that’s even going to matter though. Yeah so pretty much we’ve only got a little time left. First, tanning salons (aka lighted coffins) will go out of business. Next, everyone will be forced to quit their jobs and work in factories that make “global” air conditioners to reverse the effects the tremendous rise in earth’s temperature (of course Wal‑Mart will own these factories.) Then, these “global” air conditioners will become so prevalent that it causes the earth to fall into another ice age (yes, of course Ray Romano is in this one; the ice hurricanes happen at this time too, I’m sure of it.) Then, the effects of the air conditioners will finally cease which will cause horrendous temperatures once again (this is when the polar ice caps melt; if you can’t swim you should probably learn to.) I’m sure at this point boat sales will be at an all time high; wives everywhere will realize how “not a waste of money” that twenty one foot Ranger bass boat with the glitter finish really is (seriously, every man needs a boat.) Eventually, it won’t matter the earth will be so hot that we will all turn into leather or drown in the flood that covers the earth (that is of course unless we all boil to death in the oceans.) So surely as the sun will rise tomorrow soon we will all no longer be living and the old earth will get so hot it will eventually boil it self to nothing or most likely get hit by an asteroid (you know the one the gay cowboy finds.) Or maybe it will get blown up by mass nuclear explosion or volcanoes or something; however it happens earth becomes no more just as we will: end of story. You may be sitting there reading all this and wondering what is it that is the cause of all this; is there anything we can do to stop this cataclysmic catastrophe? Probably not; even still what is the cause of all this. I know there are many theories. Maybe it is that there are so many people on earth this warming will occur from body heat? Or, maybe it will happen because of the flatulence of farm animals? No, no, no, it’s got to be NASCAR that’s it right? Well I’m no scientific expert or at expert at anything for that matter but it seems that the one true cause of Global Warming is none other than: the Internet. You think I’m joking? Now wait just one minute, this is a serious issue, I mean we’re all gonna die, probably in two days from now and that’s no convenient matter of fact. Evidence; you want evidence? Well, did you known that before the invention of the internet the world was concerned with Global Cooling? Oh, yes it’s true. We were once all to prepare for Global Cooling, but then came the invention of the Internet and that places the blame on one man and one man alone: Al Gore. Al Gore admits to inventing the internet which is obviously the cause of Global Warming; how do you think he knew about it first? One day the world we realize that Al Gore has caused Global Warming, one day Al Gore will say “I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids and your dog.” I’m still not quite sure he would be referring too, unless Scooby does in fact find him out but still I’m pretty sure he would say that. Ridiculous you say? This is proven scientific fact, I mean it’s on the internet is it not…ahhh the internet; run for your lives! Of course it’s ridiculous! Global Warming is ridiculous. If you believe the Bible and you believe Global Warming you are an idiot. How can I say that? Well, let me ask you if global warming is true and it does cause the polar ice caps to melt what will that cause? A flood, of course, but not just a little flood, a global flood; what does that Bible have to say about global floods? Genesis 9:12-17, remember that whole deal with the rainbow and not the sandals (though those are quite comfortable.) If you believe in evolution and you believe in Global Warming you are an idiot. One because you believe that the theory of evolution even in the absence of any evidence whatsoever, and two because you think the earth is billions of years old and yet you rely on about a hundred years of data to base a theory on the end of the world on. Global Warming belongs in the fictional realm of movies and is thus far the only place it can be found (you’d think those movies would be better.) Stop being stupid; abstain from ignorance. Christians, learn real science; evolutionists, learn real science. Al Gore, learn real science. Is it hot in here or is it just me?

The character of Jack Bauer

What is it that makes a person great? What does it take to cross the bridge of mediocrity in life and become a hero; to be a hero? What is a hero; I mean do we even have a clue? Think of the word hero; what are the first thoughts that pop into your head? Superman? Firemen? Soldiers? Doctors? Teachers? Your parents? How about Jesus? Jesus is the ultimate hero; He is the standard. What is it though about Jesus that makes him the standard of heroism; what attribute of His character defines that which is heroic? Sacrificial selflessness. Jesus lived free from selfishness; Jesus lived the character he speaks of in John’s Gospel: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13.) Not all people are heroes; not all firemen, not all soldiers, not all doctors, not all teachers, not all parents. Hero is the polar opposite of selfish; heroic acts do not make people heroes in the same way righteous acts don’t make people righteous. The selflessness it takes to be a hero is not that of neglecting one’s self, instead it is that of putting others before one’s self to the point of giving one’s own life. Too often maybe, it seems that the world around us tires to put forth figures of heroism. Is Al Gore a hero for his “work” on “global warming?” Is Peyton Manning a hero for winning the Super bowl? No, most definitely not. Hollywood generally does not put forth heroes either. My absolute favorite movie is Raiders of the Lost Ark; Indiana Jones is my favorite character of all time so much so that I even have a replica hat. Indiana Jones is dubbed the greatest action hero and it’s really hard for me to argue but he really isn’t all that much of a hero. Sure he kicks some Nazi butt and finds the Ark of the Covenant, some light up devil rocks, and the water to hydrogen peroxide converting Holy Grail, but for the most part he seeks after these as treasures bringing fortune and glory (in defense though he generally starts off with selfish motives he generally ends quite heroically; maybe he’ll be better in the fourth film.) So Harrison Ford’s character doesn’t have a complete heroic character, but there is a new character whose heroism is typically debated, that of Kiefer Sutherland’s character Jack Bauer on 24. Jack Bauer usually gets a bad wrap for the methods he uses in order to “save the world.” Sometimes he has to “motivate” people in order to get needed information. Ok, so he tortures people; not really a heroic act, but does that disqualify him from being a hero? Well, what motivates Jack Bauer? First, is protecting his family and second, it is protecting the lives of Americans in the wake of terrorism, both of which are done even if he must lay down his own life. Still, he does violate many, many laws and tortures many, many people, but like all selfless heroes does not make excuses about why he had to do it, rather he takes responsibility for his actions. Jack Bauer does not always act heroic but he is a hero. But seriously what does a bunch of debate over the heroism of fictional characters have anything to do with anything? It matters nothing whether or not any made up person is a hero; what matters is whether or not you are. Do you live a life of I’s, Me’s, and My’s? Selfishness is a sickness rooted in the depravity of man, but through grace we can be heroes. Christ is our standard, he is our hero. God gave His own life to save us; how do we respond to that? May we all learn to live the heroic lives God has called us to; may we learn to life out sacrificial selflessness.

Scars of Forgiveness

Typically, scars aren’t all that great. There are many memories behind the scars we bare; permanent reminders of past pains and accidents. In this sin ridden world not one of is immune from them; they’re now a part of life, so much so that sometimes people even pay money for customized colored scars. Everyone has scars. I have scars. On the corner of my left eye, one faintly on the right side of my forehead, another on my left thumb, and a relatively new one under my chin. Each one of my scars could tell a story. Running into the corner of a table as a toddler, an altercation when I was sixteen, a run in with a metal stud while hanging drywall on the job, and flipping head first over handle bars on to a “strategically” placed log a few weeks ago, but hey, I still have all my teeth (smile.) Beyond those scars, the ones visible on the surface are those buried behind our sometime pseudo smiles; the scars we don’t share with others; the scars marred upon our spirits. Often we scar ourselves, sometimes others scar us. The scar I carry upon my forehead is less noticeable than it once was but the scar etched upon my spirit that same night still aches from time to time. It’s no easy thing to forget the scars we bare; in fact I’m not so sure we can. But we can learn from them, we can grow past them, we can forgive for them. In all honesty it took a long time to forgive for the scar above my brow but I remembered another who knew my pain. I felt the love of another who took scars I deserved. I felt the grace from a savior which heals wounds and forgives faults. For there is One who sees me without blemish, One who holds me with His wholly yet holy hands, One who lets me see myself scar-less, yet scarlet by grace. Jesus Christ died for us so that we can die to self for those that need Him. Our scars our covered, our sins are forgiven; still we must forgive those that scar us and seek not to scar others. We must learn to: live in grace, seeking holiness and the will of God, grace ourselves, seeing ourselves as Christ sees, grace others, seeing them as Christ sees them. Scared upon the cross Jesus forgave those who inflicted His pain, who are we not to forgive those who scar us. Lord let my scars shout forgiveness, for others and myself…